Sunday, February 19, 2012

Five-Seven-Five

The backlog of work this week has gotten a tad on the overwhelming side, and unfortunately I haven't had enough time to do the amount of preparation and research I usually do before writing one of these articles. Therefore, this week's entry is going to be like a very small cinnamon-chocolate cappuccino: short but sweet, with some froth on top. Don't worry, next week we're getting back to the heavy stuff; heavy stuff in which I might upset a few of the nerds out there...

This year, more than any other year, I've found myself parked in front of the TV set for several hours a day, catching up on the newest episodes of this or that. It only just occurred to me the other night how much my TV time has expanded from just last year alone. Usually, the only program I'd bothered to watch religiously week after week was LOST. Everything else I would just catch up with sometime later, or wait for the DVD.

However, things changed as soon as the 2011-2012 television season began. I don't know why it is, but there have been more shows this year capturing my interest than ever before. Since I'm an egotistical maniac and I'm under the assumption that everyone gives a damn what I think of things, I felt compelled to do a review of all the shows I've been watching since fall. Of course, doing so in full would take much too long and take up an enormous amount of space on this blog, space which could be better put to use being filled with Viagra ads or links to websites where you could win a free* iPad 2 as long as you just give some clammy, mouth-breathing hacker all of your credit card information and your mum's maiden name.

Hence: you've sifted through the froth, now this is where the short & sweet cappuccino part begins. I've reviewed all of the TV shows I'm enjoying this year...in the form of haiku poems. It's kind of like those little bite-sized pieces of Caramilk bars! Only, you know, in poem form.

Oh, and there are some spoilers ahead, so read at your own risk.

ALCATRAZ
Hurley and Merlin
fight time-travelling convicts.
(It's J.J., okay?)

COMMUNITY
Funniest show on
TV. Well, it was, until
NBC screwed up.

FRINGE
Alternate timeline
getting so damn confusing.
Need charts to keep track.

GAME OF THRONES
Hot naked ladies
covered in dragons. Do I
need to say more here?

ONCE UPON A TIME
Fairy-tale people
living in the U.S.A.
with sexy results.

PERSON OF INTEREST
Ben Linus & Christ
are basically Batman. They
use cell phones a lot.

THE RIVER
Amazon River.
Crocodile Hunter. Voodoo.
IT'S SCARY AS SHIT.

TERRA NOVA
Something by Spielberg
that's NOT about World War II.
About time, Stevie!